Memento Mori
The other day, I saw a video meme of two people engaged in a deep discussion. One says to the other, “Do you think that you might die someday?” The other paused and said, “Well, I guess statistically that’s the case.” It made me laugh. But when I considered the conversation, I realized that there are people out there who never consider their own death. (And maybe a few who don’t believe it will happen to them.)
Greek and Roman philosophers, such as Socrates and Marcus Aurelius, wrote about a concept known as Memento Mori. The term is best described as a reminder of death. The Stoic practice of Memento Mori involves purposefully contemplating one’s own death. Some keep skulls on their desk as a reminder. I have a small skeleton in a lotus position. Her name is “Skelli. It is a visual reminder that someday, I will die.
“There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
Christians should be very familiar with the concept of Memento Mori. Both Matthew and Mark discuss the unknowing. For my Catholic friends, we ask The Virgin Mary to pray for us at our hour of death, and have even assigned a patron saint for a happy death (St. Joseph.)
What if instead of just contemplating our death, we actually practiced for it? Like the Tim McGraw song, “Live Like You Were Dying.” Because we are. Would our experience of life change? I think it would change dramatically. We wouldn’t waste precious time on things that don’t matter. We could focus on what’s important to us. The joy, the good and the miracles would be a little more apparent.
“even if I’m dying, until I actually die, I am still living.” - Dr. Paul Kalanithi
On a recent episode of “Catechism in a Year, Day 138,” Fr. Mike Schmitz talked about the practice of considering going to sleep at night as a sort of “mini-death.” Similar to an “Examination of Conscience,” we would finish up necessary tasks and review the day. Ask for forgiveness for where we screwed up, and offer thanksgiving for all of the good stuff too. Then, lie down and surrender, knowing you have done all you can. This practice would bring the most peaceful rest.
“There is a moment, a cusp, when the sum of gathered experience is worn down by the details of living. We are never so wise as when we live in this moment.” - Dr. Paul Kalanithi
Admitting you will die someday is not the same as preparing for it. Live every day of your life as if it is your last. Someday, it will be.
P.S. - My Book Club recently read the book "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi, which inspired this post. I highly recommend it.
