Take Up Space
Sometimes I’m not a very nice person. This won’t come as a surprise to most of you. I have shining moments of kindness, but I also have a darker side that picks on people’s insecurities. Why? Because I have a low tolerance for fearful people.
Most Millennials and Gen Zers in public do not have adequate social skills. They are fearful and lack the confidence to interact with a stranger. And I’m not talking about talking to a stranger. I mean, just passing someone in the aisle in the grocery store. More often than not, they won’t make eye contact, but they’ll say “I’m sorry” as I pass by them. What are they sorry for? It takes all I have not to ask them the question.
If I’ve got some time on my hands or I’m bored, I will make up an excuse to talk to them. I’ll compliment them on their hair or an item of clothing. Often, I will ask them to reach something from a high shelf. The requests for help put them over the edge. No one has ever told me no, or run away screaming, but they come close to fainting every time. If I’m in a bad mood, I’ll purposefully run into their cart, and more often than not, they apologize before I can form the words. I always tell them they have nothing to apologize for, and it was my fault.
In the books [Generations] and [Anxious Generation,] I’ve learned some theories as to why this fear has developed among these groups. Some pundits will claim it is increased pressures like economic insecurity, environmental concerns, or social media influence. But it seems to me all generations have had their pressures. The Silent Generation lived through the Great Depression and World War II, but they knew how to communicate and didn’t apologize for everything.
I don’t have a solution to these societal issues. I will acknowledge that we are more open about discussing mental health, which is good. In the meantime, I can only be kind and model good behavior. (Maybe I should stop ramming into grocery carts?) Understanding the roots of their anxiety is the first step toward empathy, support, and meaningful change—not just for them, but for everyone.
Everyone has the right to take up space. This has nothing to do with humility (them) or pride (me). Trust me. I know a thing or two about pride. It’s about knowing your worth and right to be in a public space. We must learn to face our fears and interact with others around us. We need jobs, relationships and communities, and we must engage with others to make it happen.
