Bathroom Selfies
At the beginning of last summer, we joined a new gym in Turlock. Previously, we were at a private gym with only 3-5 people at a time, and then we moved to a card-lock gym, where we saw about five people each morning.
This new gym is big with every kind of training equipment you could think of. Everything is bright, shiny, and clean, including the bathroom/locker room. It’s really nice. I like it a lot. There is only one problem. Almost every morning, when I walk into the locker room to store my purse, someone is standing in front of the mirrors taking selfies or shooting a video. My appearance ruins their shot, and they sometimes look visibly irritated.
What the hell?
When it first opened, the gym was all over social media, sharing many posts from members, including shots like these in the bathroom. This highlights how social media culture influences behavior, even in private spaces. Isn’t there a law against photography of any kind in a public restroom or locker room? Haven’t we heard stories of people getting arrested for this? I had to unfollow the gym on all channels to avoid supporting this trend.
When I told Sierra about this strange situation, she explained that many of these girls may be trading social media likes for gym membership. If their post generates enough views or likes, they will be repaid with free gym access. That’s how “influencers” are compensated. There’s gotta be an easier (and more respectful) way.
Instead of being bothered by this situation, I turned it into a game. My passive-aggressive nature thrives on these opportunities. When I walked in on a selfie session, I took a little extra time getting ready to hit the weights. I might sit on the bench and check my email, or spend a little extra time washing my hands at the sink. Eventually, they would give up and move on. And so did I. It was my silent protest.
I still remember trying to explain modern concepts to an older generation when I was much younger. It’s frustrating and not always well-received. Now that I’m on the other side of that coin, I realize that my reactions to social media behavior in gym locker rooms reflect my own need for self-awareness. It’s frustrating and a little disappointing that society makes this acceptable and profitable, but recognizing my response helps me manage it better. I can’t change others, but I can control my reactions.
I am working on pausing between the stimulus and my response. (Thank you, Viktor Frankl.) My reaction is the only thing I can control. I know my passive-aggressive game isn’t a healthy response, and I’ve decided to stop doing it. I am aiming for no response at all, and eventually I’ll get there. I keep reminding myself that whatever they are doing is none of my business.
I also know there are things I do (or that my generation does) that probably annoy the younger crowd just as much. And honestly, I’m okay with that. They get to live in a world shaped by their values, just like I did at their age. What I’m not okay with anymore is giving away my peace of mind over behavior I can’t control. Their bathroom photo shoots, their sponsorship deals, their need to document everything—none of that is actually about me. It only becomes my problem when I decide to make it one.
In the end, we don’t have to understand or approve of each other’s habits. We have to decide where our attention, time, and energy are going. I’m choosing to spend less of mine on irritation—and more of it on living my actual life, offline.
